ok this is a riddle/joke contest thread

first i will start wit a joke


3 women die and are sent to heaven. At the gates Saint Peter greets them and says "There is only one rule in heaven, you can't step on any ducks!"

(now this was really hard cuz there was ducks everywhere)

So the first lady steps on a duck and Peter says "Uh oh , you stepped on a duck and now you must be punished!" so he chains her to the ugliest guy you have ever seen and says "Now you must spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

Later the second woman steps on a duck and the same fate befalls her.

Then there was only one woman left and she was amazed that she hadn't stepped one a duck yet. Then one day peter comes along and chains her to the handsomest guy you have ever seen and she says "What have i done to deserve this?"
The man she's chained to says "I don't know about you but I stepped on a duck!"


i kno its not that funny but i coodnt think of any othrs at the moment

Hahahhaha. Lolz. Well, at least she's with a handsome guy. And the handsomest. [: Strange, but funny joke ^.^
* claps* Yay, for Jonjon-joking again! * hyper*
MMzz I can't think of a good joke myself right now...can I pass for now? Hehe.

ok i gots tons of jokes and i promise ill have one al=most ev day cuz my explorer wheel teach tells one ev day


three guys walk into a bar; 1 tourist, 1 fisherman and 1 redneck.

they all order a beer

the tourist finds a fly in his beer and slides the whole thing away in disgust

the fisher man finds a fly and just fishes it out and drinks the beer (fly fishing)

the redneck pulls out the fly and holds it by its wings over the beer... then says "spit it out. spit it out!!!!!!!!!"

atoli i got some jokes but i mite need ur approval first

i think every one here is old enough for em

but maybe i shood run em through u first

Lolz ok then, pm me them [:

I've got a short blond joke.

A blond walks into a bar. The other two duck.

i dont get it

Hahaha. I laughed even tho I don't get it, just because you announced it was a blond joke

lolol

B -
b -

it's a bad illustration, but it works.

i dont get it

I didn't think so. Erm...the bar is solid.

Ahaha, I get it [:

oh i get...

thats funny but stupid